this morning i found a short blog post that i wanted to share.
a short excerpt is below along with the link to the site.
although this post is specifically about marriage and pornography- it exposes the pattern that secret sin takes, that of the comforts of our idols that promise us release or happiness and lead an ever growing breakdown of our relationships.
“I was never taught why loving others more than myself was important. (Matthew 22:36-40) Though I worked a job, it was not so much about pleasing my employer or my wife as it was about pleasing myself. My entire world has been set-up to please me first. If my world was not meeting my expectations, I always had an out: I found relief and entertainment in my safe sex zone. It was perfect.
It cost nothing and no one had to know. I could work, provide for my family, and be a friend, but when things got tough, I could get my fix and then re-enter life again.
My wife, however, had higher expectations from me. Prior to marriage I basically used my friends. After I got married my wife was not as accommodating. It got even worse when we had kids. Being a responsible husband and dad, while loving and serving others only intensified my desire for my secret drug.
After all of these years my wife is worn down. Truth be told I’ve never really loved her. Though I don’t want a divorce, I can’t give up my addiction. I don’t know what to do. I’m a selfish pig and I know it. It would probably be more accurate to say I am an addicted, selfish pig.
I don’t want to give up my “precious” sin. I don’t want to lose my family. I have this driving, insatiable need to be affirmed. What do I do?”
http://www.competentcounseling.com/2011/03/14/safe-sex-nearly-destroyed-my-marriage/
forsaking cisterns 